Note to the Puppy - #1

by Joanne Bourgeois

Dear Eiche:

Dear Eiche:

As a new member of the household, you may not be familiar yet with all the intricacies of co-existing with your new environment, so the cats and I have come up with a few points to help you fit in better:

• Pillows are NOT giant squeeky toys. I understand that they provide a convenient padding to lay on instead of the floor, but no matter how many times you try, you will not be able to make them scream. Personally, rolling face first into an unexpected wet spot does nothing to improve my sleep.
  
  
• The cats do not enjoy a good pounce nor is the funny hissing sound issuing from them an invitation for chase. No, I don't speak cat, you'll just have to trust me on this one.
  
  
• The cats are allowed to stay on the floor. I realize it's much easier on my back to pat them when they are standing on the kitchen counter, but it's a human thing, thanks for thinking of my health, though. Yes, this also applies to the kitchen table ...
  
  
• You cannot go where the cats go. This is not only a rule, this is physics. You do not fit under the bed. You cannot balance on the back of the couch. I'm sorry. And again, this also applies to the kitchen table ...
  
  
• Carrying you outside to the designated "area" and then back into the house when it's raining so you don't get your feet wet is not an option ... from now on.
  
  
• There is no "calling shotgun" in going to bed. The bed is mine, the KENNEL is yours. It doesn't matter whether you beat me there or not, I will not change my mind on this. Also, you have a better chance of spending more time on the bed if you do not lay directly in the middle of it, stretched out parallel to the headboard ...
  
  
• For the last time, it called a reflection, and it's not going to kill you or anyone else in the house. You will never be able to scare it away.
  
  
• You are in serious trouble this time, mister, looking up at me with those innocent little puppy eyes will NOT work .... I mean it ... I REALLY mean it ... I .... well .... Oh alright, as long as you promise not to do it again ....

If you would like to drop Joanne a note, click on her email address: joanne.bourgeois@alc.ca or gowild@nbnet.nb.ca

Copyright © 2003, Note to the Puppy by Joanne Bourgeois

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