Note to the Puppy - #2

by Joanne Bourgeois

Dear Eiche:

The cats and I are very pleased with how much you've progressed over the last two months. Well, OK, I'm very pleased, the cats still wish you'd just go back to where ever it was you came from. In light of all your progress, there's still a few points we need to work on, however:

• To reiterate: PILLOWS ARE NOT GIANT SQUEEKY TOYS. Your cow is a squeeky, your bear is a squeeky, your duck is a squeeky, my pillow is not a squeeky, my pillow is also not yours, just a small point, but I'm selfish like that.
  
  
• "No Pull" and "With Me" mean the same thing OUTSIDE the yard as they do inside the yard. I understand that OUTSIDE is much, much more exciting than inside, and there's so much to smell and so little time, and all. And yes, I also understand it may be a little confusing with the command starting out as "With Me" and eventually degrading into "Get back here dog right now or so help me you're gonna get it this time I really mean it...", but I promise to work on that.
  
  
• Removing the insoles from my shoes does not make them more comfortable.
  
• You cannot go where the cats go. This is not only a rule, this is physics. You do not fit under the bed. You cannot balance on the back of the couch. I'm sorry. And again, this also applies to the kitchen table ...
  
  
• Carrying you outside to the designated "area" and then back into the house when it's raining so you don't get your feet wet is not an option ... from now on.
  
  
• I'm glad you don't mind sharing your water dish with the cats, Good Boy! I'm pleased you allow me to freely remove bones and such from your mouth, Good Boy! When I take something from you, though, it's not because I'm hungry, so when I give it back, there's no real need to suddenly leap into my lap after you've been chewing on it for awhile, and offer me a bite. Sweet of you, but there's nothing in this world that would entice me to take a bite of a well chewed bully stick.
  
  
• Yes I know the cats get up on the counter. Yes I know you've discovered you're now tall enough to get up on the counter too. That doesn't mean any of you are actually allowed to be there. I suppose it's pointless to mention the cats wouldn't be up on the counter if you hadn't chased them up there to begin with.
  
  
• Stop winking at me, there's nothing actually wrong with winking, it's just very unnerving for me to be winked at by my dog ....
  
  
• Sometimes it's not all about you when I kneel down. I know it's wonderful having my face within easy kissing range, I love you too, but if I'm tying my shoe or putting the groceries away, I need to see - having your tongue in my eye tends to blur my vision.
  
  
• I am not a morning person, granted, but waking me up 15 minutes before the alarm goes off so I won't sleep through it is really not necessary. Unless you learn to turn yourself into a 6'4" blonde Adonis who can clean the entire house and cook my breakfast in those 15 minutes, I doubt you're going to successfully convince me to get up. I know, I'm a horrible owner.

I'm sure you're going to continue improving, and despite the hurdles you're having getting the cats and I trained properly, I know we'll look back on all this one day and laughingly say "remember when ...."

If you would like to drop Joanne a note, click on her email address: joanne.bourgeois@alc.ca or gowild@nbnet.nb.ca

Copyright © 2003, Note to the Puppy by Joanne Bourgeois

Email Sandy